To Forgive And To Forget – That Is The Question

Forgive and forget are two seemingly simple words. But when one encounters an experience that lets them exercise the truest essence of this phrase, case in point is: it is very hard to do.

Do you find yourself glaring at the person who did you wrong? As if your eyes are red like the gaze of a devil. You utter fuming hurtful words like a tongue-fired dragon. Suddenly, you got enraged by the situation that engulfed you. Your whole body can uncontrollably tremble if you are mad. Moreover when you cannot let it all go out in loud ear-piercing words. Angst and anger can overpower a peaceful soul. Aptly put, you are in the state of hell consciousness.

After an exchange of justifications and a series of explanations from both sides of the concerned issue of two beings that was into a worthless fight, it finally dawned on you, you are at fault. Partly, you are to be blamed. The self-eating prima donna hubris tells you, both of you have your own set of faults and mistakes. Well, if this statement continues to rule your sense of logic it only means that you can’t forgive and forget.

But what is “forgive and forget”? Catherine Ponder said; “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”

To forget is to let go of the emotional burden that you knew you did something wrong or you said something bad to the one who wronged you. Before you can say sorry to that particular being, say it to yourself.

Say sorry and forgive yourself by:

1. Realize your own mistakes. When you recognize your errors and flaws, you allow yourself to see clarity.

2. Admit your faults. In clearness, you become open and receptive to concede and take accountability of your guilt, your defect, your lack, shortcoming and weakness.

3. Accept that you are also wrong. Once you acknowledge your share of the quarrel or misunderstanding, you can try to let go and move on. (I say try because it is difficult to let go). For “letting go is only hard if we hang on.”

4. Forgive yourself. Don’t beat yourself up and take all the blame. Give up your personal struggles and release all emotional baggage within you.

5. Write an apology letter to yourself. Put everything in paper. It doesn’t have to land with the person involved. But stating how you feel or how everything happened will result to revelations.

6. Learn from the experience itself. Nothing can undo the past. So, learn from your past mistakes. Then, change your reaction and outlook about it.

“To err is human, to forgive is divine.” Remember, we are human beings with flaws. But we have to forgive and forget everything behind. “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” For we are prisoners of our own set of beliefs and values. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs and make choices related to the values instilled and inculcated in us. Accept that you are what you are. Gandhi said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” So, cultivate a forgiving heart and be free of all life’s conflicts and struggles. Sara Paddison best ends this article: “Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.”

Compliments to Alexys Fairfield of and thanks to

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